A Wise Man Once Told Me...

I feel so cheated.  I feel so absolutely cheated out of naptime today.  Do you know what I did?  I spent naptime reading people's advice on internet forums.
When will I learn?  My only intent was to see if there were any decent articles regarding a whining issue with a 2-year-old.  Casey has been whining quite a bit the last couple weeks and I wanted to check out some ideas that I may not have tried yet.  BIG MISTAKE.  Turns out, people who spend time doling out advice on the internet are completely unreasonable douchebags with really low IQs. Here, take a look at the responses this poor mother received when she posted the simple question, "What are some tips to stop my 5-year-old from whining so much?" 


(I take no responsibility for the grammatical dipshittery you are about to witness, as I copied and pasted all comments):


"Let him whine. As long as he knows it bothers you, he'll keep doing it."

"Have you asked him why he is winnging give him big cuddles he is upset about somthing".  (Let's go ahead and assume that the person seeking advice from the internet never tried that.)

"From a simple behavioral standpoint, what should do to decrease your child's negative behavior is to first of all establish what is the antecedent (what happens right before) and what happens right after (the consequence of this behavior) in order to you to change this. Try by telling your son in a calm, but strict tone, "No whining." Praise him and give him something desirable, like your undivided attention as soon as he stops whining."  (not much to say about this one, 'cept it annoyed the crap out of me.)

"he could sick and you don't know it take him to see a dr"

"when u c that yr child is calm approach them with arm out sitting on the floor and say to them i love u very much sweety plz tell mummy what is that is upsetting u . but if u feel u tried these suggestions & u don't get no where then u need to seek 2nd opinion i.e doctor paedotrition or take yr kid down yr local early child hood center.  Hope my suggestions where helpful."  (I'm not sure, but... probably not?)

"are you spoiling the child? If so, you need to stop!"

"First you must realize you are a parent so please take responsibility and take the good with the bad."  (Thanks, Asshole.)

"He is whining bcoz he needs ur attention.Just u need to be calm & understand him."  (I mean, that's all.  Come on, Mom!)

"Have him checked for allergies." 

"A break sounds good. Please remember that until recently we (humans) lived in extended families and no one was responsible for a small, demanding (and children are by nature childish and demanding) child 24/7/365. Find a way to trade off with other women in similar situations."  (I actually like this comment.  You are awesome, internet stranger.)

"kids lie to feel important to. let him he is a big boy .praise him for the little things he do make him feel important and always talk to him like he is a big boy never talk baby talk."  (I think you're on the wrong forum, freakshow.)

"please check his HB count.  Also, calamine lotion is a good soother and so is paxyl for any kind of burn."  (um.........)

"take the toys away takee eveything he injoys away until he learns to shut it."  (I see where you're going with that, but I think I might call CPS anyway.) 

"I have a 11 year old that still whine, however, she does have some ment health problems."

"The question is why is he whining? Have you moved recently? If so, does he miss his friends? If so, have him call them to set up a play date (after you and their mom have already done so)."  (that is some random and off-the-wall shit.)

"Paint the nails, color your hair, perm your hair or even a bubble bath with your favorite candles burning will help."

(And this comment was written as a response to an article that called the 2-year-old example 'she', probably just so they didn't have to use 'he/she' constantly...):   "Actually, the only place where it refers to a male child at all is when they have the real example. The rest refers to only 'she' children." 


Duuuude.  Can you believe that I learned nothing today, and that Casey is still whining this evening?  From now on, I think I'm just going to watch Dr. Phil for my education.