The Moody Pregnant Woman Sounds Off and Cusses a Lot.

I went to my 39 week appointment today.  There's a new midwife in the office (filling in for another who's on maternity leave), and she's kinda sorta maybe batshit crazy.  I have no idea where they rummaged her up.  She absolutely does not fit the laid-back vibe of the office, which is 85% of the reason I go there.  I mean, she's fine, I'm sure.  I'm not going to start dreading the possibility of her being on-call when I go into labor (though I'm tempted to).  I just wish she could have calmed the fuck down for two minutes today!  I took two small children to my appointment, and they were calmer than she was.  Anyway... I did get an extra ultrasound out of the "ordeal", with a second confirmation that the baby is indeed a girl.  And the baby is good, everything is good.  There was just some paranoia about the baby's head not being engaged in the pelvis and the midwife's belief that I was dying for an exam to check for progress, but she didn't want to accidentally break my water if the baby's head isn't engaged (which... wow, does that happen?  By accident?).  I kept trying to tell her that it's okaaaay, I really don't need the exam, the nurse told me to strip, aaaaah I don't care!!  But suddenly I was on the ultrasound table and the midwife was hanging over the tech's shoulder, yapping incessantly about membranes rupturing and doing squats and what is the baby's head doing over there???  And our ultrasound tech is... well, the word 'serious' doesn't begin to describe it.  At one point during the ultrasound today, I said "Sometimes it feels like she somehow reaches her hand out of the uterus and grabs hold of my bladder and tries to wring it out like a sponge."  And the tech looked from her screen to me and, in all seriousness, said "No, that can't happen" and went back to her business.  I would use the word 'deadpan' if she used humor at all, but... no.  (Another example-- at my 20 week ultrasound, I asked her what percentage sure she was of the baby's sex, because the crazy internet forum people were saying that their ultrasound techs told them they were "75% sure it was a girl".  Her very monotone response was, "That's stupid.  I wouldn't have said that I know if I wasn't sure."  Not exactly a people person, but I've grown to implicitly trust her capabilities at her job.)  I don't know why I'm on this subject.  Oh!  It was just funny, watching the anxious midwife and the no-nonsense tech trying to communicate.  Except it wasn't so much 'funny' as 'highly uncomfortable'. 

Aw, man, and don't get me started on the freakshows who were waiting for an ultrasound at the same time as me.  The mother (of one very coddled little 'angel') even spoke baby-talk to me:  "We all get a little fussy-fussy when we're past our naps, don't we?  And us mommies don't get shower time, do we?"  (The fuck we don't!  That's gross!)

So anyway... I was let go today with just a warning:  Do your damn squats!  Baby's head needs to engage or all hell will break loose!  We can't have these unmotivated baby's heads just floatin' around!


There we are.  Thirty-nine weeks and five days.  Due date is Saturday.  EEEEK!