I have a bedtime story for you. I mean, a story about bedtime. A story that unfolds as picturesque as a fairy
tale, and finishes off with a fat ass glass of wine.
It’s Friday night. We’re
watching a movie. Mackenzie snuggles up
next to me on the couch. It’s been a
long week. She’s cute, snuggly, and
sleepy. She actually asks the question, “Mom? When can I go to bed?” My first thought is, “FUCK YAH!! Easy bedtime tonight!” We finish with the bedtime basics, head upstairs,
and cozy up her bed. She asks for a
book. I read one. Then she asks if she can read me a book. She does.
We talk about a few random things, and then it’s time for songs.
Mack: Just two songs. ABCs and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.
We sing those.
Mack: Just two more. Six Little Ducks and You Are My Sunshine.
We sing again.
Mack: Just two more. I’m a Little Teapot, and then maybe something
you can make up for my unicorn.
(I’m totally clever, so my song was in the same tune as I’m
a Little Teapot. “I’m a huge unicorn in
your bed, this is my foot and this is my head.”)
Mack: One more song. Daddy’s Taking Us to the Zoo Tomorrow. And wait… can we sing Shake Your Sillies Out
after that?
And so… WE SING AGAIN.
Next up is Jingle Bells.
In June. Three times. We had to find the actual jingle bells first,
though, because props.
But wait! We can’t
leave out We Wish You a Merry Christmas, because we already have the
bells! That’s basic logic.
In the middle of all of this, Casey shows up and flops in
Mackenzie’s bed to sing with us. He isn’t
really into the singing, though. His
motives remain unclear.
In the end, Thank You Lord for Making Me was the final
straw. She learned it in preschool and
it involves clapping our hands and stomping our feet like we’re in the middle
of a freaking hoedown. I caught a
glimpse of myself in her mirror and it was at that moment that I knew I had
been played. But it only took about an hour
after the shenanigans began for me to catch on.
Well played, Mackenzie.
Bedtime Skill Level: Master.
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